North vs South

OOhsoflyDELTA#9 · #1 01-21-2007, 01:15 PM

this is a slight spinoff from the girl beer etiquette but that thread brought this to mind...my co-worker turned close friend is from Syracuse, I'm from NC...(we are the same age different races) and her "manners" in general are horrible IMO...from belching/farting out loud in public, to allowing her children (3 girls) to answer an adult with a "what", and allowing them to think announcing their farts is funny...she will drink beer from a bottle/can and is just crass all the way around...she claims its regional and feels that I'm way too hard on my daughter, but I feel I'm raising a young "lady" and although I love her kids she's raising ummm not young "ladies"...she claims life up north is different and she and her husband both say I'm too damn proper..

my question..for those of you who are transplanted either from the north to the south or vice versa do find a difference in "manners" or is my friend the exception from most northern women???

Honeykiss1974 · #2 01-21-2007, 01:23 PM

I grew up in Mississippi and right now I'm in Kansas. There is a DEFINITE difference in hospitality and manners! Now granted, I went to what is basically known as "etiquette school" so while I don't expect 100% good manners from everyone, I do expect people to exercise some basic decorum in public and in front of others. That's just simply being nice and polite - two traits you don't have to learn in etiquette school if you're raised right.

An dont get me started on kids answering their parents with "what". Growing up if i answered my parents or any old person for that matter with "what", I would gotten snatched up real quick. But I think that's just a parenting thing and not just a southern thing.....least I hope not.

Dionysus · #3 01-21-2007, 01:27 PM

What's wrong with answering "what?" I never heard of this.

GeekyPenguin · #4 01-21-2007, 01:45 PM

Maybe she was just drinking from a bottle because her chalice was dirty.

JeffersonStKKG · #5 01-21-2007, 01:56 PM

Though I am a Floridian, I was raised as my mother was---a Tennessean. I even went to the same boarding/prep. school she (as well as a really great actress...) attended in Nashville, Harpeth Hall. I came out (to society...dirty minds

), took etiquette classes and attended Cotillion. Now, I join my mother in our Junior League chapter. One would assume from the aforementioned statements that I am a prissy woman; however, I have been an athlete my entire life---through college. Still, I incorporate everyday graciousness in my life and remain close with the lessons I have learned.

DSTCHAOS · #6 01-21-2007, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

my question..for those of you who are transplanted either from the north to the south or vice versa do find a difference in "manners" or is my friend the exception from most northern women???

There's no regional difference. Rude people with no home training are everywhere.

lilbay77 · #7 01-21-2007, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dionysus

What's wrong with answering "what?" I never heard of this.

It is extremely rude IMO. "Yes?", sounds much better. My mother nipped that one in the bud really early with my sister and I.

tunatartare · #8 01-21-2007, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dionysus

What's wrong with answering "what?" I never heard of this.

Same here. If my mother calls me or something am I supposed to respond with "oh yes, mother dearest?"

Intense1920 · #9 01-21-2007, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilbay77

It is extremely rude IMO. "Yes?", sounds much better. My mother nipped that one in the bud really early with my sister and I.

We didn't get the option of saying "what" or "yes". It was "yes ma'am' or "yes sir". LOL

Phimuteach · #10 01-21-2007, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dionysus

What's wrong with answering "what?" I never heard of this.

In general, the polite way to answer is "Yes" or something to that effect. "What" is perceived as rude/defensive to many people.

I grew up in the south and moved up to the midwest when I was an adolescent. I also went to college down south my first couple years and transferred back to the midwest. I think in general, there is a difference in politeness with strangers between the north and south. When we moved to Ohio, my family was surprised when we went to grocery stores and the clerks didn't greet us and such.

Midwesterners can be very friendly/polite people, but more so with people we know, in my experience.

DSTCHAOS · #11 01-21-2007, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dionysus

What's wrong with answering "what?" I never heard of this.

It's rude. A child should respond "yes?" and if they don't hear what an adult says, say something like "excuse me?"

My mother never let us say "nevermind" to an adult either because it's dismissive. Children should always have respect and deference for adults.

To this day I speak to my elders in a respectful manner.

Dionysus · #12 01-21-2007, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lillady85

I'm from the north, Chicago, and none of my friends would ever think belching in public or letting their kids (or sisters) fart in public is funny. I know my mother raised me to be a 'lady' but then again, I'm Mexican and that also has something to do with it. There are times when I get sly comments from people on some of my manners (like eating with the right fork) but I don't particularly care. So no, she is really an exception because I don't think it's a difference between North and South, more like, those who have manners and those who don't. As for her kids, good luck to them on learning how to deal with people when they are older.

I'm in STL, I hear people belch in public all the time - all ages and both genders. I used to be really grossed out by it, but I hear it so often, it doesn't bother me anymore. Fortunately, people are more discreet about farting in public, but when it happens, I crack up at them. I don't get offended though.

Judging from internet posts, and not just from GC, I think the difference/importance of manners is definately a location thing. Some of the stuff I read is unheard of and I wasn't raised by wolves, nor many of the people I interact with. Chewing gum in public rude? Eating spaghetti with a fork tacky? Drinking beer from the bottle/can tacky? WTF?