Regarding 'shameless plugs'

[PenguinTrax]

I know everyone really loves their sorority/fraternity/chapter and I know that deep down, we all kind of wish that each and every PNM would join 'our' group. But, reality is that each PNM must make her own decision, based on her own experiences during recruitment.

Please keep in mind that although you mean well with 'shameless plugs' for your sorority, it can put some stress on an already stressful situation for a PNM. Just as we would like each PNM to respect the recruitment process of each chapter on their campus by keeping their selections/invitations anonymous, please respect the PNM's right to choose their home, without outside influence. And if that PNM's final decision is contradictory to opinions voiced earlier in the week, then that again is a good reason why chapter identities and shameless plugs should be kept as vague and as positive as possible. I would hate to find out that a PNM's experience in real life was negatively impacted by comments made on GC, however innocent. It has happened before (and no, I won't go into details and I hope longtime GC members will refrain from doing so as well).


Each chapter of each group is different. Each groups recruitment/member selection process is different. They all deserve our respect.

Thanks for listening!

[2017law]

How are the shameless plugs not Rush violations? How is even "speaking" to these women not a Rush violation?
Just something I've been pondering as a former PX.
Thanks,
2017

[kddani]

ummm... how COULD they be a rush violation? Unless it's someone from that specific chapter and school.

I'm an alumna, none of the girls on here are rushing at my school, etc. How could that be a rush violation? When someone's rushing it doesn't mean that they can't talk to ANYONE greek. What if their mom is a member? Does that mean that they can't talk to their mom during rush?

[bruinaphi]

You are totally missing the point, which is that it is okay for them to speak to greek people who are not involved in recruitment at their school, but it is NOT okay for those people to be recruiting them for their organization.

[kddani]

I'm not disagreeing with the original point or "totally missing" it.
What I said was in response to what 2017law said about talking to them being rush violations. I don't specifically recall anyone from a greek org at a school talking with a PNM at that school on here. Also the way it was phrased made me think that it was thought that anyone from a greek org speaking to anyone rushing was a "rush infraction".
There's also a difference b/w a "shameless plug" and "recruiting" someone for their org. I never disagreed with anything along those lines.

[GPhiBLtColonel]

...I will have to respectfully disagree with you Barbara -- and I am shocked that I do disagree with you as everything I have read from you up till this point I have pretty much agreed with...But not this time...perhaps my advancing years have dulled my comprehension of your point -- I am not as "sharp" as I used to be, but honestly I fail to see how saying in a post "Go Gamma Phi" or "Yay Zeta" or "I Love Theta" or "Alpha Xi Delta is the best" or whatever can negatively influence a rushee...I don't understand how that can put stress on an already stressful time...and I don't get how a shameless plug disrespects a rushee's right to choose her own sorority at her college campus. Personally, I do NOT want every PNM whose rush thread I read on GC to become a member of my sorority -- some of the women exhibit traits in their posts that I'd just as soon my sorority do without! I'm thinking that if what you've said is taken to the next step, all of our GC handles and signatures should be totally vanilla & plain...after all, those too are shameless plugs.
I think that PNMs log onto GC for a reason -- they are seeking something from Greeks like you and I -- whether it's advice, or another perspective, or a shoulder to cry on, or shared happiness, or the benefit of wisdom & experience or whatever -- I'd like to think that these women will not be harmed by a little shameless plug...I'd like to think they will be impressed by the pride each of us so rightly has in our own sororities...because that after all is what propels us to make a shameless plug in the first place, isn't it?

[sweetie adpi]

pride can go in a signature... pride can be shown in many ways --that aren't a complete waste of space like shameless plugs are. sorry if anyone is offended...

Originally posted by sweetie adpi
pride can go in a signature... pride can be shown in many ways --that aren't a complete waste of space like shameless plugs are. sorry if anyone is offended...

I was thinking the same thing, but I can understand both sides...

I noticed that in many of the Rush threads, many GCers added:

"And I'm going to add my shameless plug..."

Seriously, is that really necessary?

Many of us have our letters in our signatures, and to be honest, I see nothing wrong in saying "GO AGD!" or "GO XYZ!", etc. That shows a lot of pride for our organizations, but adding those plugs and directing it towards a PNM just because she has that GLO on her campus is not cool at all, in my opinion.

The way I see it, a GC PNM probably won't make her decision based on a plug. Barb, you were right when you said that chapters aren't the same on every campus.

I've received PMs from members who were hurt as to how their sororities were ranked and thought of by a few PNMs..and I can understand how feelings are hurt...and I'm glad that most of the PNMs have been honest and vague about their experiences with their respective sororities on their campus.

I never went through a really competitive Rush, so I could only imagine how it would be to be a PNM on GC...trying to post honest feelings without hurting anyone, having to read these plugs even though she might not get a positive impression of that GLO during her rush experience.

Thanks Barbara for bringing this up for discussion!

[KappaKittyCat]

[soapbox]

I'm guilty of a few shameless plugs in my day. But now I'm doing my best not to add anything to the rush story threads unless I have something truly substantive to say. They're long enough as it is (in a good way)!

Look at all our signatures. There are only a few of us who do not have our letters somewhere in them. If a PNM scrolls back through older threads, she sees how joyfully each woman is welcomed into her new family by her sisters on GC. She realizes that, wherever she goes, we're going to be happy for her.

We don't know the situation on each campus. And now that I think about it, I feel very bad having made a "shameless plug" for Kappa, only to see the woman be cut the very next day. I feel like that's going against my sisters on that campus in some fundamental way. Yes, I'm disappointed that I'm not going to be able to welcome another Kappa into our "Gamma Chi" chapter. But honestly, they know better than I. See the story of "Mike the Pike" on the Weird Rush Stories thread and you'll know what I mean. It's not right for someone who's not in the situation to be second-guessing. And ultimately, I am very happy for the women who wind up wherever they are.

Like I said, I'm guilty of the very same thing. But I'm going to encourage everybody once again to think before you post! Consider the impact of your words. I for one would rather err on the side of caution than find sometime down the road that my seemingly innocuous "Shameless Plug" was the source of pain or confusion for one or more of our GC PNMs.

[/soapbox]

[Lady Pi Phi]

While I'll admit that I too have made a "shameless plug" and I'll agree that we should watch what we say to PNM's, I was just wondering if there are and PNM's or former PNM's out there that have been offended and/or influenced by any of the "shamless plugs" that have been made on GC. It seems to me that those that are bringing up this issue are Alum and Actives. Are there really PNM's out there that are finding this an issue or are we being overly sensitive?


PPL,

Emily

[greeklawgirl]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I was just wondering if there are and PNM's or former PNM's out there that have been offended and/or influenced by any of the "shamless plugs" that have been made on GC.

Emily, while I don't know if there have been PNMs that have been influenced by shameless plugs...I do know of several instances where indiscrete comments on Rush threads have lead to enormous amounts of pain for the PNM and the GC sisters. No details here, but there was one rushee in particular that I feel terrible for...her situation singlehandedly stopped my *shameless plugs* cold in its tracks.

[2017law]

In terms of being a rush violation, here is 1 example, there are others, namely the UF thread, where GCers and PNMs have sought each other out and remained in contact during rush.

Originally posted by gphiangel624
Just to update everyone... Annie emailed me and she hasn't been able to get on GC because the dorm computers aren't working to well yet! But she's trying to get back on here!

And guess what?! I met Annie in person last night! I was working at Block Party, an event for all new students to see our student orgs and such, and she looked for me and found me! I can tell she's a total sweetheart and my sisters and I cannot wait for her to go through recruitment!

Annie- hurry up and get your computer fixed before rush starts! You know everyone is dying to know how it goes!

Carol

This is just me defending my statement with evidence to back it up. Sorry if too law school-ish, it's consumed my life for a year and a half.

~2017

[cash78mere]

I agree wholeheartedly with OTW.

There is no problem with saying 'i love AXO' or 'AXO was the best choice for ME' but adding a shameless plug (which isn't really shameless at all) can be upsetting if a PNM has a certain GLO at heart and has GC members saying "GO AXO!!!" and she really thinks she has AXOs support and then gets dropped the next round. (just to use AXO as an example and boy---that was a long run-on sentence!) plus, it really is kinda tacky.

we have to remember that PNMs are easily swayed and influenced. i know i was. they may really like a GC member and be swayed by their feelings and it may not be a perfect match for them like it is for the GC member.

[aephi alum]

I admit to having done the occasional shameless plug, and I hope they didn't hurt anyone. I've put the brakes on, though... I can see where it would be hurtful for a PNM who's just been cut by XYZ to visit her rush thread and read "Go XYZ!"

Is anyone really going to pick their GLO because one of us posted a shameless plug? (visions of checking someone's rush thread and reading "I listed AEPhi first on my pref card because aephi alum posted a shameless plug on GC" ) I think all the PNMs who've shared their experiences with us here realize that they should be comfortable with their own chapter, and not join a group simply because they like one or two people on a chat board whom they may never meet in real life. And that means the plugs are not really necessary.

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

I think the type of pride we display on here is fine. The PNMs know we're going to be excited about our organizations, and encourage them to give our individual groups a try -- I mean, they'd be disappointed if we didn't! Why would you want to join a group whose members are lukewarm about their bond?

If the PNMs are that sensitive about things, maybe they want to hold off on the GreekChat until they've found their place in the greek system.

ON THE OTHER HAND -- I'm not sure about GreekChat being a forum for people to meet at a school. If I met a girl on here who went to Virginia Commonwealth University, and I PMed her and tried to meet up with her, or used our relationship on GreekChat to try and convince her to go Phi Mu....... well, I'd feel horrible. It'd be a true violation of the rush system, which is designed to give everyone a chance to see things equally.

That's the beauty of GreekChat, though -- you'll never meet most of the people who post on here. That can encourage unusual honesty, disrespect, and a whole host of other things.

I just think the PNMs know what they're getting into when they post on a site called "GreekChat."