-sigh-

[AlphaGamDiva]

Originally posted by AGDLynn
Okay here's my take....

Gary Sinise scares me....

2 months and in love..or lust...scares me...

Be careful with your heart and ALL of your relationships.

STAND BACK.

DEEP BREATH IN AND OUT!

Repeat as often as necessary and don't rush things.

I'm here for you, sister!

thanks, lynn.....i know it seems really fast, and believe me we have talked about how quickly attachment and emotions have formed. but it's like, the night we became all "official" and whatever......we knew we loved each other, but were afraid to say it. i was super nervous about the whole thing b/c a) i was still a lil upset over a former crush, b) the whole inter-racial thing, and c) i had just been weary and confused about how i really felt about him. it all just hit me really fast and all at once, which i know sounds funny. but i know he loves me....i see it and feel it more than i have with anyone who's ever said it to me before. and i know, i know, i love him. i look at him, and all i can think is, "ok....he's it".....this morning we were just layin around and he's all like, "does it scare you to think that we could get married?" and i was like, "no....you?" and he said, "not at all"......i think it's all just a matter of time.

now watch this all come back and bite me in the a$$ , but we're happy. and i can see it all working out. oreo babies and all.

no one get mad about the oreo baby comment.....it's a big joke between us b/c of a nasty comment my mother made.

and yeah, ilovemyglo is right.....this man busts a move and it's O-VAH!

[aurora_borealis]

Originally posted by AlphaGamDiva
i was super nervous about the whole thing b/c a) i was still a lil upset over a former crush[/i]

and yeah, ilovemyglo is right.....this man busts a move and it's O-VAH!

1) I hope you're upset about George W. or Gary Sinise, and not some inferior crush!!!!

2) You don't know what to do 'til you bust a move!!!!

3) I saw a dead squirrel up the street from AGD, it made me want to cry

4) I'll meet you at GRACELAND!!!!

[AlphaGamDiva]

parent's took my house-key so i can't just come over anymore....

dad gave me a semi-ultimatum....meaning if this continues, blah blah.....

mom hasn't talked to me in days.....

fun times....

BUT....we just keep going on, he's been great with this whole thing, being more understanding and forgiving than i think i would be, honestly........going to bama this weekend for a wedding that i am in.

discussed our wedding and kids already........slow me down.....

i am SO happy, and so sad all at the same time. i don't wanna hurt anyone, but.....why live my life by their prejudice???

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Is it because she (or both parents) are opposed to inter-racial dating, or because they're concerned that if this becomes serious, you and your boyfriend might be facing difficulties in the future? In other words, is this her (thier) problem or are they worried about your future?

I gave your parents the benefit of the doubt because I know how difficult it can be when a parent is concerned for his/her child. Age and experience dictate that.

I think the jury is in, though.

Assuming you haven't done something really crass to deserve their treatment of you and this situation...

Shame on them. This is their problem, and they're forcing it on you.

[ilovemyglo]

Hey girl! I am so sorry, if you need to talk call me...
Shit has hit the fan around these parts to... my exboyfriend, TIM, the bartendar you met at Wicks'- he died in a car accident Friday... I had to go say goodbye to him yesterday- It still hasn't sunk in....
I don't get it!!
I love you Monica.
Alecia is getting initiated.

[AlphaGamDiva]

oh my goodness how i have missed venting on here about this situation! over at the parent's house right now....simply b/c i locked my keys in my car this morning and my dad has the spare. so i figured while i was here............

maybe said 3-4 sentences back and forth with my mom in the past month and 1/2. dad isn't being quite as bad as all that, but everytime he sees me he pleads with me to break it off with him b/c it's "easier" for me to break up with him than to convince the fam it's a good thing. which very well may be true, but seriously. look at the fair factor, ok?

things are difficult and obviously strained.....he still has yet to meet anyone other than my sister, but we're shooting for around new year's. he's still patient and understanding and GREAT...... talking about proposing this summer......so we'll see. again, it's all real fast and in a hurry, but it feels FANTASTIC. i'm really happy.....just wish my family would be supportive b/c i don't wanna do anything without at least their blessing.

he's met all my friends.....they love him. he's just great. and everyday i appreciate him more and more. the fact that he adores me and puts up with my family drama doesn't hurt, either.

but that's that. not too much venting......trying not to bore you all. just keep me in your thoughts and any words of wisdom would be appreciated b/c it is very hard. i'm sitting 5 ft from my mother and she has yet to look at me other than to see me walk in the door with my dad.

[Imthachamp]

you're dumb. picking a boy over your own mother sickens me. i hope he drops you.

[Jill1228]

If they have a problem, then that is THEIR problem not yours. Sorry you are grown and they should not be able to run your life! Glad you untied the apron strings and realized that! If the man is good to you and respects you, then that is what matters!

I can kinda relate. I haven't spoken to my father in over 2 years and he did not attend my wedding.

Ya know what? That is HIS loss NOT MINE!

Tell the naysayers to go to hell!

[SAEalumnus]

It's amazing to me that certain...preconceptions... still exist today.

AGD,

The most important part of this equation is how you and your b/f feel about each other and how he treats you. You're a grown woman and not subject to the control of your parents or anyone else. Your mom (I'm sure she means well) has absolutely no business whatsoever putting her nose in your relationship with your b/f. For that matter, neither does anyone else.

You need to consider your feelings for this man. The question you need to ask yourself is not, "is he worth disappointing my family over," rather, "is your relationship with him worth standing up for?" From the way you describe him, he sounds like a real gentleman who treats you with respect (something many men in our age group need to work on). Even if your family can't see past the pigmentation in his skin, they will certainly notice the manner in which he treats you. They'll get over it.

If you and your b/f are willing to stick this out, then nothing else matters.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by DeltAlum
I gave your parents the benefit of the doubt because I know how difficult it can be when a parent is concerned for his/her child. Age and experience dictate that.

I think the jury is in, though.

Assuming you haven't done something really crass to deserve their treatment of you and this situation...

Shame on them. This is their problem, and they're forcing it on you.

There is a huge difference between being concerned about a child's well-being and future, and just being bigoted or close-minded (sorry for the harsh words). This is the first time I read this, and from Post One I could tell that the latter was fueling the sentiment, and not the former.

Why do I know this? My experience in an interracial relationship (that started out very similarly to AGDs, to the point where I didn't tell my family for almost a year) has given me a little bearing as to why people react the way they do. For my family, they seemed to be more concerned with class issues than race issues--but those were still there. After a few years, you can really tell what's fueling someone's reaction to your relationship. The only "experience" that can teach you that is having been those shoes for quite some time.

I still don't know what being spoiled has to do with this.

[AlphaGamDiva]

Originally posted by Munchkin03

I still don't know what being spoiled has to do with this.

yeah, the "spoiled" comment was made by someone who made a bad assumption about me and how i was raised. yeah, i didn't go without a whole lot growing up, but i didn't get everything i wanted, either. although it may seem like it at times, i'm not a brat, my parents were/are very strict on me to make sure i came out a responsible, giving, contributing individual. eh, s'all good.

been chilling/talking with my mom the past couple days. chillin here now watchin some tv......dad's on his way to south korea for business and i am home sick from work, so i guess we just needed some company. no mention of derrick, but i'm not gonna press it. more than anything, i think my parents are thinking i am trying to make some kind of statement. if i just casually talk about derrick (such as what he's doing, what we're doing, blah blah) instead of only talking about how what we're doing is not wrong and that they are racists, the idea might go over smoother faster. but who knows.....

went looking for rings....found a DOOZY.....his mom and sisters are so cute about the idea. his best friends are all about it, too, since they say i've "gotten to him like no one else".....

for the most part here, my life is good.

-sigh-